Kevin Stecko is the founder and president of 80sTees.com.  He's been operating the business since December of 1999.

Bed Frames, Headboards, Dresser Drawers and Other Social Constructs

I have managed to make it to the age of 40 without spending money on bedroom furniture such as dresser drawers, bed frames and headboards. 

I have dresser drawers.  In fact they are the same ones my parents purchased for my room when I was a child.  My wife also has her childhood dresser.  I removed the mirror from my dresser because at 6'4" they are pretty much useless to me unless I want to stare at my torso.  My dresser drawers go unused, though, with the exception of the top 2 drawers which I use for socks and underwear.

I find drawers to be inconvenient for storing clothes.  I can not easily access shirts or pants that are folded and stacked in a drawer.  What I do have are open plastic shelves that I store my clothes in.  I can see all my clothes when they are stored this way, and I prefer it.  The shelves sit inside a closet which I could close, but I never do because the effort to open and close the closet is greater than just leaving it open.  

I don't have a bed frame at all.  I have box springs directly on the floor and a mattress on top.  My wife really did not mind this setup too much because people don't generally see inside our bedroom.  She's not the kind of person that makes her bed every day, so it's not like she'd be anxious to give a tour anyway.

We are considering selling our house, though, and my wife is mortified that pictures of our spartan bedroom would make it out to the public.  I don't really care what anyone thinks about my bedroom situation, but it is important enough to her that I agreed to tag along to the local furniture chain showroom and check out the bedroom furniture.

Despite my best intentions I was unable to maintain even a tiny level of interest.  That sucks because I know it's important to her but my mind just can't bring itself to care.  All I see is opportunity cost.  For the privilege of adding a few hundred pounds of wood into my bedroom and 12 to 24 inches of vertical height to my horizontal sleeping location I am sacrificing 5 to 6 shares of AAPL or FB stock which I am 100% certain will be more valuable 5 years from now than some Chinese or Amish made furniture.

I did give my wife the input that at the very least I think it's a good idea to buy the bed frame with the drawers underneath, since then I would feel like I'm getting some utility for my money.   Unfortunately doing so seems to add a minimum of $500, and it's about $700 if you want the drawers that can support the weight of a furniture salesperson standing in it.  The ability to hold a furniture salesperson seemed to really intrigue my wife, which has me worried that she is planning to abduct a furniture salesperson and force them to live in a drawer under our new bedframe.  Luckily I am just too darn big to fit in it, and I don't think she has the stomach to cut me into pieces.

The point of all this is that there are some things that human beings do that make little to no sense to me.  I've read up a bit and some people claim that using a bed frame will lead to less bugs on the bed, but I've seen bugs on my ceiling so I'm just not buying this argument.  Some people make claims about dust and air flow, etc.  Sorry, not buying that either.  But even though I don't buy it there is at least some rationalization other than "that's just what people do".  

But what functional role does a fancy headboard play?  It's literally a giant piece of wood that serves no purpose.  In fact, as near as I can tell the goal when buying a headboard is to get a minimally ugly one, because the vast majority are awful.  As a tall guy a headboard just pushes me further down the bed than I already want to be, so my legs end up dangling even further.  

Don't get me started on footboards.  Has anyone ever fallen off a bed on the end of the bed?  If so perhaps instead of a footboard that person should invest in adding a built in restraint system to their mattress.  For someone 6'4" the footboard turns a bed into a sardine can.

So what does this have to do with ecommerce?  Not that much, but it does teach a lesson about the power of social constructs.  It is much easier to make a sale to a man who has a wife who doesn't want to feel embarrassed about the state of her bedroom than it is to that same man when his wife will rest easy knowing that her spartan bedroom will remain relatively private. 

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